Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
