She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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