Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
