Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
