I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
