I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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