just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
