Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
