Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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