Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
