Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
