i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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