Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
