Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
