best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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