why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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