mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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