I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Come share oat with me in your robe
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