Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
