just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
