i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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