I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
