it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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