I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He did a backflip because drugs
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
