Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize