I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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