i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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