someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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