Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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