Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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