Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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