I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
