She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
