How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
