You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
