She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
