I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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