Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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