only if we run a train.
done.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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