I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
