I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
