Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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