problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
