mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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