I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize