Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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