Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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