How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
