i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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