six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
my poor anus
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i now understand why vodka
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
