I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Enjoy the penises
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
