i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize