Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
do herpes really smell.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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