So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
