You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize