planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
