I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
