you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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