I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
