I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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