my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
A bitchslap is in order.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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