I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
