what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize