you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
