i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
