You can't motorboat a personality
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
