ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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