i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
