my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
