It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize