I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
