Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize