dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
