Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
