onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize