he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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