You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
