there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
