My nipple is on Facebook.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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