Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
