You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
